It's Suv!

 Am I soo fake When the world soo real Tipping about changing my days Tardiness murky grades in it about An image I hold onto no longer does Esteem pointless when you got none Got a guy who says my face is like goddess Me be like that's such a joke I spend the day and night Picking up my flaws Spoilt the only thing Where a guy was truly into me Screw my fears and insecurities, Made him block me Coz I'm such a red flag I say that I am one, Cactus who hurts those who come near Seeking the warmth of fire and fearing the flame Double faced bitch I am hehe hoho Oh oh oh no Look at the vultures surrounding my lord Each tasting a piece of my own Laid down and bare, nothing covers me Movement up rare, parts of me amiss

 Barely a human You think you would know Claiming outside I don't hurt others When the world turns, I go on a rampage Stab, nick, punch, hurt whats new from my side Just stories and guys dated I say the ending will change When it never does Always my fault letting thoughts win I just sing a melody As it ends in debauchery Merrily merrily I fall for one And end it just because I fault Fumble hard and do it again The world got no time to help Your mistakes you say you learn When it happens again, revert back Lessons lessons what's the point If you can't remember them

Past says something else Present pretenses where words are haywire Seeking something that isn't flitting  Not sure if I want to jump into something shallow I don't want to be a placeholder till someone better arrives Why does it matter if you are asking me or not Why does the heart ponder over something which has a simple answer Where does the tradition, culture, rules lie? Where does my fear and desires belay? I am just a someone, who changes her poles more faster than the earth Don't want comparisons to your previous ex's Can't guarantee if I can make time worthwhile When there are glass shards inside of what's mine Cracked, broken, flawed, blemished I am Mood swings that change at the flicker of a switch Seeking someone who won't run away or regret what's up There's no escape from my maze if you dare Want a soft shoulder for me to cry or ponder on Someone that can just be and let be Won't fear who I should have been A cuddly fluffy thing is mo...

Why do I hate it when I seek you Basil joseph resembles you I wish you knew me before my fears Looking at the movies, I desire love The feeling to be held close and not worry When it's at the brink I falter and run Something so close, so hallow and yet soo scary What if you hate me, what if you leave me What if you are just not into me Don't wanna break, don't wanna lose again Know that you will never read this My mood swings have taken better of me I am the wave that crashes and goes Fear? I operate within its confines Second chances no one gets I guess Can't promise if I can make it worth it I may fall back on you more than others Nag you with my worries like an annoying duckling Seek a push up when it's all down It won't be rosy how others portray I am quite the challenge and pain And if you say yes, you don't have an out

 Why do I want you when I have blocked you Why do I seek you when I have wronged you Laying on my bed late at night Desiring all that you sought of mine I don't wanna let you go Running, thirsting, lusting I can't be upfront What if it ruins my repu forever What if you post it to others alike Having desires on my mind Unnatural to express why the heck you have them You a girl learn to behave in your lanes What I called creepy was that what I wanted Didn't realise it back then However hopefully I can find someone that doesn't make me fear Hopefully someone I can fully lust out Hopefully someone I can love on

 'You are the ex that I never had before.....' why is it running in my heads Spades aplenty digging out none Maybe you are the one I needed not before Blast out money I can't keep it secret You have been a none and lonely Come and take your sorrows into my soul Act like nothing is upfront anymore I have lost my will to continue anymore The words have sunken me down from below Don't show honey all the things that matter You are the ex I never had before Even now you were the ex though you werent Don't know my feelings All feel soo numb shouting neigh Don't you go before I say I am the devil you never met before Angelic veil hidden under glow

 I know it's moonlight Pretend it's still daytime Can't I call quits it Nothing will arise more than it did Sun that set will never shine again Muddling all my partial selves You won't ever see again Friends is all we'll ever be Rant, cry, anger around It will not be your fault I will learn and manage it myself Moulting caterpillar will flutter again Raise your hope for it to fall I cast the evil eye once again Character arc on its way New lessons to learn Adventure misadventures about to embark on Shedding off my old layer To discover a new shiny one beneath Thank you for all you taught Sorry it led to nothing more than this, that No labels left to name what remains None's fault, reminder of mismatched thoughts What's there left to say I am sorry but I am not, I guess Expectations funny thing Ring up everything till they collapse Have nothing left to say The flaw's in me, not you

Play and pretend I am fine, Where I look, Doubts take a swig on me, Ask me on which piece I stand, Clarity they say is taught not bought, Whether the heart or mind says, You don't belong here, Debating all on myself, Here I am seeking where I am, Time's a past, Clock's to strike midnight, Cinderella got no time to decide, Opening hearts take space to heal, But she needs to know Pray hath I stay, There's some answer beneath the raze, Something delving deep and out, Words could only hide what they say, Ostentatious, wherever I go, Hurting, threatening people aboard, Maybe there isn't one answer, Or there is none at all, What's worse than a lost chance, What's better than a unskipped thought, Tell me your answer, I won't stay long

Never seen a knife look so pretty, With sharp edged reapers, dreaming of cuts on skin, Bloody red gash lines, I wish I never had to exist Plitany of disappointment I sleep and awake with a knife above, Compelling me to cut once, Lie I am fine, none will guess Most will be glad I'm rid How I wish I could act on thoughts Not fear the fear, Alas, my time has come Either I will be dead or hurt Or a loony that didn't follow my words Death, o death when will you take me away? The earth finds me a burden Rat poison failed me or it's a false memory Ate toxic stuff and vomit saved me Want something eternal, painful for misery I inflicted on others Punish me, hurt me, cast me in hell But even hell can't tolerate me The random poem that runs in my head, All the time, wishing my end,  Vague and vogue, always wrong,  Twisted mess of a human  Run and rush there's nowhere to go A wondrous exterior with lacklustre interior Pretend and play, that's what you know There's no b...